Don't mind me

Let me just park across 3 disabled spots at Waitrose in West Byfleet, 'cos I'm a cunt in a flash car and I couldn't give a fuck about anyone else.

Never trust a speeder

TCB Windows

50 mph in a residential 30 zone with people pushing kids around. They may make nice conservatories, but I'd never let a friend buy something from a cunt like this.

Sunset Over Slawit: The New Ten Commandments Of Driving

Sunset Over Slawit: The New Ten Commandments Of Driving

A man after my own heart, esp. points 3, 6 & 7, though I find BMW drivers generally worse than Audis.

Fitting the stereotype

Encountered a typical tosser this morning. Young, wearing a tie, driving a silver BMW hatchback, the sort usually emblazoned with estate agent decals. Probably an office junior, trying to impress his mate in the passenger seat. Pushing in on a roundabout, using the left turn only lane to undertake a line of traffic at a junction, before accelerating ahead at 45 in a 30 zone. You can see the guy on a Friday night, drinking crap bottled lager in a shitty wine bar, but in his own mind, he's cool. Wanker, more like.

People Who Sit In The Disability Seats When I’m Standing On My Crutches

Having ridden SEPTA for several years, as well as many underground systems, this attitude doesn't surprise me. I love this guys blog to try to shame the ignorant and selfish. Unfortunately, I doubt many of them will ever see it, and even if they did would be oblivious to the situation.

People Who Sit In The Disability Seats When I’m Standing On My Crutches

A hazard to other road users

I was nearly run off the road by this cunt yesterday morning, when he pushed his way through a merge at speed. He's not even in a proper SUV, just one of those gay wannabes. Watch out if you see him, as you'll be in danger.

MJP3 again

Money may by you a flash car, but it can't stop you being an ignorant prick.

Madness in Esher

More idiots around Esher. Some tool in a flash Merc, personalised plate MJP3, cutting up people to avoid waiting for 30 seconds in line. Astoundingly, a BSM instructor did exactly the same thing. Further down the road, MJP3 then decided to screw up traffic and turn into the exit of a petrol station rather than the entrance. Finally, up in Walton, we had a bunch of fuckers in a small Audi S3CRX running a red light and blocking up a box junction.

Black BMWs

Almost every day, I'll encounter someone driving like a twat and the chances are they're driving a black BMW. They'll be the ones speeding through residential districts, driving up your arse, cutting in at the last minute, blocking the junction or running the red light.

This morning's example of a total cunt was another black BMW driver, license plate WK51FOP. Another small-dicked show-off.

Parking disasters

I've recently been struck by quite how badly people park over here. Despite generally having smaller cars than in the US, many people are totally incapable of getting them anywhere near straight. Take this fool in the Surbiton station car park, taking up 2 spaces.

Then, I encountered this situation when visiting a client. I arrived early and parked (on the left of the black car), and sat there making a few calls. About 10 minutes later, a lady pulls up next to me leaving me about 6 inches between the cars. The picture below is taken after I had reversed out and moved it to allow the door to open. She sat there, making calls, then despite me staring at her, got out and walked into the offices. What a totally ignorant, unobservant, self-centred and inconsiderate bitch.

Ignoring the signs

Surprisingly, given the number of wankers round here in the morning & evening commute, I saw some of the most blatant ignorant driving when I've been working from home and popped out to the local shop. There's no right turn into one end of our road (although various Sat Nav systems don't recognise this). Around 10am, I saw 4 or 5 local drivers, all looking pretty run of the mill middle-class, middle-aged, ignore this sign and turn across the traffic. I guess it saves the lazy fucks about 400 yards and half a minute.

What's so difficult?

A beautiful morning on the A3 and not a soul in the inside lane where they should be. Not a car to overtake, just too many lazy ignorant feckers. And don't get me started on the BMW lane, for those who think they're better than everyone else.

More idiots

You'd normally expect a mother driving their kid to school to be a little more careful on the road. Alas, the normal rules of parenthood fell by the wayside with this dangerous bint, cutting onto the exit ramp from the A3 to M25 at the last minute, blocking traffic while so doing, and switching lanes in heavy traffic on the M25 without signalling. One wonders how else she cares for her child.

The same morning this joker turns right from the left turn only lane, then proceeds to drive at 40mph along the motorway. Probably not a bad or inconsiderate driver, just totally ignorant of basic conventions.

The biggest c**t in Surrey

I've seen this same guy 4 or 5 times, and each time, he's been driving like a total cunt. Driving along the A3 in the Hook roundabout exit lane until the last minute, then cutting into the main traffic; not bothering with getting into the exit lane for the M25 until the last moment; using the left turn only lane to go right at the roundabout; using the right turn only lane on the roundabout to overtake and go left. Total, utter, wanker. I've seen him close up, and he's the typical small-dicked poser. Can't perform in the bedroom, so makes up with a flash car and an arsehole attitude. So, if you ever see a black BMW (not surprisingly) reg plate WR55ZWT, don't forget you've got a key in your pocket.