Is that your bumper in my back seat, or are you just please to see me?

Rte 3 round Nutley this morning, and a silver saloon comes haring down the inside lane at about 80mph, with no concern for any of the traffic trying to merge on from the GSP. She ends up right up the arse of one car and refuses to give the poor guy and space. He eventually taps his brakes to force her to pull back a little. So, she then pulls into my lane and sits right on my tail until I make a "get back bitch" gesture in the mirror. Lady, learn to drive, and we know where you work now.

She pulled off into Roche. So, watch out for a dumb oriental bint, NJ plates KVX84M. It won't be long before she's carnage on these roads.

A kindred soul

Want to check out if anyone else has had similar problems with the idiots you encounter? Just want to relieve some of the road rage that their bad driving has caused you? Want to bond with kindred spirits and bemoan the bad hand dealt you by having to deal with these a-holes? Check out AboveAverageDriver.com, which I came across this morning. The site shows this phenomenon is widespread and we all like the chance to vent.

Unfuckingbelievable

Once in a while, I'll drive to work via Secaucus, to give my beloved a ride to her office when she needs to get in early. Traffic isn't too bad over summer, though there are still the usual Jersey nobheads who have never heard of "safe driving distance" or "lane etiquette" and drive like twats. But, generally, it's an OK run.

But, we've come across the same cunt twice in the last week. Some old white guy, looking a bit chubby and bald (remember Withnail & I - never trust a baldy), driving a black Jeep with NY plates, CYM1969. This twat has decided that he has better things to do than wait for 30 seconds in the exit lane, but instead each time we've encountered him he's flung it at speed into the Meadowlands Parkway exit at the last minute, without giving a flying fuck for anyone else around him. Impatient, selfish, little-dicked sack of shit.

What is it with Jeeps by the way? Do you have to pass an "I can drive like a cunt" test before they'll sell you one? Thankfully, I'm not the only one who has spotted this phenomenon.

Is the whole of NJ colorblind?

Every morning, every single damn morning, I have to deal with the bunch of bellends who decide that the basic red = STOP rule doesn't apply to them. What, the left turn arrow went red 3 cars before? "Sod that", the fuckwits say, "I'm going to go through anyway, even though the oncoming traffic has started moving". This is the junction that causes so much grief, at Fletcher and Linwood in Fort Lee, NJ.



Come on Fort Lee, put in a traffic camera. You could make millions for the city, as the drivers have proven they're a bunch of windowlickers, too fucking stupid and selfish to obey a simple rule.

Have you been drinking?

OK, so driving home this evening, along Grove Street between the GSP/rte 46 and rte 3. Approaching the Rte 3 junction, and I see an SUV itching to come out from the left, but there's no space. Then, unbelievably, the cunt just comes anyway, causing me to screech to a halt. Word of warning - the road has to be clear both ways before you pull out, you stupid little twat. Anyway, I'm following the guy, who has a passenger, down Grove, and he's weaving all over the road, like a drunken bum, and it's only 6pm. He's driving a dark blue Ford Explorer, NJ SFV19L, picture from cell-phone to follow. He also seems unsure which way to go, then suddenly turns without signalling, pulling it sharply right onto Bellevue. Total fucking nobhead.

Impatient bint

To the woman driving a shit brown colored Toyota (NJ KFU78K) up Valley Road through Upper Montclair this morning. What's the fucking rush? Why so important? Why the need to honk the horn at me, when there's a bus blocking the road with no space to overtake. Blame the driver from DeCamp (bus number 486) who couldn't be fucked to pull over to the side of the road to let on passengers. And get rid of Kerry sticker, 'cos you drive like a selfish republican cow.

Yield?

To the cum stained gimpheads from a crappy landscaping firm in Paterson, NJ (T59X3R):

Yield means give way, don't go until the coast is clear, don't pull out in front of oncoming traffic. Especially when you are towing a large trailor and have no acceleration. Which part of it is so fucking difficult to understand. So instead, of acting so dumbfounded when people get annoyed, LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE.

Just what it says on the label

Can't signal, won't signal is the address of this page, so here's a good example of just plain laziness and ignorance from the dumb bint in the silver Highlander driving along I-80/95 this morning towards the GWB.

License plate NJ NYJ69R.

Lady, there are signal lights for a reason, so other people can see when you're going to cut right in front of them. Use them, and maybe you'll get less horns and hand gestures.